Last week I did something I hate doing. I cancelled Samhain ritual… twice. Why? I was sick. I hoped to reschedule but when the rescheduled day came, I still wasn’t well enough to conduct the ritual. For me, learning to rest when there is work to be done has been an ongoing endeavor. I think I’ve got it. I think I have incorporated rest in appropriately, then something like Samhain comes up and oh, I struggle to balance feeling like I’m letting people down, not meeting my responsibilities, with the simple fact that sometimes you just have to lay around and get well again…especially if rest has been elusive.

I was meditating on this when I got a very clear message from Hecate. She said to me, “A priestess who continuously sacrifices herself is useless to me.” Ouch. There is no denying the truth of this. If we dwell only in self-sacrifice, then there may not be enough energy available to us to do the work that matters.  This is not to say we should never make sacrifices, but that constant self-sacrifice renders us useless. I got the message. I cancelled the ritual and set myself to resting.

Working with Hecate challenges a lot of ideas that many of us are taught from early childhood. She says, don’t be a martyr. A martyr has limited usefulness. She says wield your power or it will wield you. She tells us to use magic, for if we will not use it in our own lives, how can we be skilled enough to use it in service. She pushes us to be adults – adults at the highest level. Being responsible isn’t making sure everything is done – it’s making sure the important things are done and that we are in good condition to continue our duties.  And being in good condition means having balance, and rest, and good food, and love, and well-being in your life.

Holding power with clarity, compassion, grace, and love cannot be done by refusing to hold power. Using magic on other’s lives only and not in our own lives is both cowardly and arrogant – for how can we hope to be highly skilled enough to practice magic for others if we refuse to practice? Hecate calls us to own our work and to work in a way that has honor and integrity. She calls us to dwell in our magic. She reminds us that we are priest/ess, magic worker, witch in all that we do, and not only when we stand in circle.  She helps us integrate doing with being. We are not only people who do magic or serve as priest/ess. Within our being, we are magic workers, priest/esses, witches.