MUSING.SILVERBRANCHTRADITION.COM

Gifts from the Mother

2012-05-20T20:38:10Z

Today I was planting seedlings in the new vegetable beds we built this spring, and although I was sneezing from the yellow grass pollen billowing in the breeze, I was struck with such a sense of well -being and beauty that I had to stop and bask in it. I am so fortunate to live in a lovely old house on just over an acre of land, with mature trees and gardens that we’ve added to year by year, starting with the faery cairn and goddess garden we put in ten years ago.

My sense of well-being though, didn’t come just from my good fortune. It came, instead from the land; from the blooming flowers and rustling leaves, from the smell of spring. It came from the satisfaction of participating in the growing season. My seedlings may or may not yield vegetables, but either way, we were out there together today with the sun, the spring air, the birds, and the soil.

I wonder how often we miss these gifts given to us so freely in nature. How often we think that there is nothing to be gained by standing in the fresh air, watching the leaves, listening to the birds. One of my favorite chores every summer is watering the gardens because it gives me an excuse to stand and do nothing but hold the hose, just being outside with the trees, and flowers, and birds, and squirrels.

And so since you may not have gardens to water, I give you the gift of this excuse to sit in nature from Richard Louv, author of The Nature Principle and Last Child in the Woods:

“By tapping into the restorative powers of nature, we can boost mental acuity and creativity; promote health and wellness; build smarter and more sustainable businesses, communities, and economies; and ultimately strengthen human bonds.”

I challenge you to experience these gifts of nature and then take them out to your community. The mother gives to us freely, let us not waste her gifts.

Blessed Beltane

2012-04-30T16:10:48Z

Today Thorn Coyle posted the following poem she had written for Beltane.

Walpurgisnacht Manifesto

Today, I stand for beauty.
I stand for apple blossom and finch.
I stand for sun, and wind, and sky.
I stand for the shaking of the fig tree,
And the growing of the lettuce and the pea.

Today, I stand for beauty.
I stand for music to lighten the soul.
I stand for healing balms to comfort wounds.
I stand for kind words in the tempest,
And a scrap of bright cloth in the mud of war.

Today, I stand for beauty.
Heart open to the world.
Today, I conjure hope. And strength.
With the courage and the love to carry on.
Leap the fire with me,
In Beauty’s name.

Blessings be upon you. Blessings, all.

Reading this poem, I was struck by how well it summed up exactly where I am. I look out of the window of the temple and see lush grass, verdant trees. I see the flower bed I spent two weekends weeding, adding plants to and mulching. I see the raised beds built by my husband and our young son, filled with soil, waiting for the seedlings we started in March that will start going in the ground next weekend. I am surrounded by hope already flowering into blessing. I am filled with love and with beauty and see, all around me, promise.

At the same time, I have a friend on my mind and heart, a friend who is wading through anger, pain and despair. And all I can offer is a kind word and a bit of support. For her and all others who stand in similar pain, I conjure hope and strength. For her and all others in need of courage, I invoke the courage and love to carry on. And all this I do in Beauty’s name. And I hope it is enough.

Blessed Beltane.

Silver Branch Open House

2012-04-01T16:55:10Z

Silver Branch tradition is having an open house on April 13, 2012 at 9 pm. We’ll spend time in the temple talking about who we are and what our mission is and then have some time for questions and answers. After that, we’ll do some meditative work to give you a flavor of how we work. And then, we’ll socialize and get to know one another better.

If you are interested in joining us, please shoot me an email at information@silverbranchtradition.com

Blessings,
Sandy

Power, Magic and Relationship

2012-03-14T19:09:40Z

“Sometimes I think that, for many of us in the Pagan world, we found a well that gave us water once, but when it ran dry, we neither searched elsewhere for water nor attempted to dig the well deeper, but instead sat down and worshiped an empty bucket.

“Too much of the conversation I hear among Pagans strikes me as an invitation to worship an empty bucket, and that makes me sad.

“The gods are real, and there is good water everywhere, if you know--not so much how to look, but that looking is a possibility. “

-Posted by Cat Chapin-Bishop

The above was written by Cat Chapin-Bishop on her blog, Quaker Pagan Reflections. When I read it, it spoke to me because I too, often see our community stuck in a place of worshiping the form rather than dancing with the force. This happens both in magical work and in devotion. All too often we build our relationship with the structure, the practice, the idea, instead of with the power. We sidestep the living forces of the land, our gods and guides, the magic, and even ourselves in favor of the safety of a static form.

Why? It’s easier. It’s less scary. If we have relationship to something that is not real, and is not living, then it requires only that we show up. We have the security of knowing that we’re doing something as long as we go through the motions. Little by little we stop believing because we have cut ourselves off from the source of magic by letting go of our awareness of it.

What if, instead of worshiping the form, we look back to the force – the power of being that is held in everything. What if we looked to our gods and guides as living beings? What if we build relationships to the land, the water, the stars, and each other? What if we see not only the power of the elements, of the magic, and of our gods, but also see the power of ourselves, our covens and groves, our relationships? What if we wake up to the amazing magic we can carry through the world in our time here? What then will we see when we make magic? What then will our practices look like? How much more effective will both our work and our lives be? What kind of compassion can we engender for ourselves and each other when we stop comparing the validity of forms and starting seeing the beauty of the relationships? How much more amazing will our magic be when we learn to believe again?

I invite you to look behind the forms – the potentially empty bucket – of your practice. Look beyond the structures. Look to the power and beauty and magic. Hold to those and then look back at your practice. What do you see? How will you change it? And in doing so, how will it change you?

Clarity

2012-03-07T15:47:24Z

This past month I haven’t written much. Why? I found myself in deep need of silence and listening. The deeper I work, the more clearly I see the need for space in our days and in our minds. Due to some unusual scheduling, I lost a lot of that space last month and had it replaced with a lot of other people’s emotional energy. I found that although I could write, I couldn’t write anything worth reading. There was too much noise.

As I become more and more tuned to my bodies, my work in this world, and my guides, I find that energetic hygiene (how’s that for an un-sexy word?!) is more crucial than ever. I need time to process out the noise of the world we move through. I need physical exercise to help move energy through that process effectively. I need space, and quiet. When I can create these conditions, and process out the noise, it feels almost like clarity is a liquid that pours over me and through me, slowly, making everything more discernible, washing away the noise.

Are you giving yourself enough space? Are you spending enough time and focus on processing the energy you move through every day? Do you know what you need to be able to find the place of silence, rest, and listening within yourself? If you don’t, I invite you to spend some time in silence. What feeds your soul and clears away the chaos of your mind? What brings you to clarity? When you know this, you hold the key.

Reclaiming Gender

2012-02-13T18:21:35Z

I was talking with my friend and mentor a week or so and she said to me, “well, you’re a priestess and a woman.” Her point had to do with having more than one response to a situation and was helpful. But one thing that really struck me, later, was how long it had been since I heard anyone refer to my gender as a part of who and what I am. How, in the well intentioned wording of equality, I became a person but lost being a woman.

Gender is complicated – personal and political. It brings up strong feelings for people in every direction. I am going to side step that at the minute – not to minimize it, but to remind us of something more. There is power in everything that we are. Wherever we fall on the spectrum of gender, there is power in reclaiming that particular expression of gender. Gender can be what someone else defines it to be. Or, in the name of political correctness, it can vanish into personhood. I offer us a third choice – reclaim gender. Not as it is defined by someone else, but as it is meaningful to you. Your gender is part of you. If the definitions you were given for your gender are definitions of powerlessness and pain, or of oppression and anger, let them go and write new definitions.

Gender isn’t binary, and it isn’t destiny, and it isn’t caught in a concrete definition. Gender is ours. It is powerful. It is part of who we are and how we express ourselves in the world. Its definition can be as fluid as we are. Reclaim gender and let it be another expression of beauty in the ways we are the same and in the infinite variety of humanity. Reclaim gender and own its gifts. We don’t need to throw away gender just because it has been misused. We can transform it with love and in return, be made stronger and more compassionate.

Imbolc Blessings

2012-02-01T19:26:05Z

Last week I noticed that it stayed lighter outside long enough to make a difference in our day to day movements through the world. That little extra bit of sun felt like salvation. Today instead of typical February temperatures in the low 40s or upper 30s we’re blessed with something in the 60s. Winter’s hold is loosening, bit by bit. Around here it’s been a mild winter. Instead of snows and ice we’ve had colds and pneumonia. Winter is winter no matter what the weather. Not to imply that winter is bad. It’s also hot drinks by the fire, snuggling up to loved ones under a down quilt, watching snow accumulate and still the world to a magical silence. And by this time of year, although we will get more winter weather, we need that sunlight lingering a few minutes more each day to remind us that winter is not all there is. Spring will come – sooner than we think.

Imbolc always brings us promise - promise of warmer days, longer days; promise of the joy of all living and growing things reaching up toward the sun. On this Imbolc I wish you all hope, and joy, and promise.

As we look toward spring, Silver Branch is growing. After some deep work building our roots Silver Branch is now accepting new students. If you are interested or have questions, send me an email information@silverbranchtradition.com.

Don't Throw it Away

2012-01-04T17:08:07Z

I’ve noticed lately that in our speech, we tend to use a lot of throwaway language. Language designed to dissemble, to give us an out in case we are not well received. I’ve noticed that this habit waters down our conversations, our connections, our power and our lives. It keeps us not quite meeting one another. It sidesteps whatever it is we are saying and tells our audience that it doesn’t matter.

This year, I invite you to look at your own language. Do you use throwaway language to take the power out of your speech? When does that happen? How does it impact what you have to say? This year, I challenge you to stand in the power of what you have to say. Let your words be direct. Don’t throw away the gift you have to offer when you speak.

Why does this matter especially to magic workers, priests and priestesses? It matters because by using throwaway language regularly we get in the habit of being willing to throw away the power we are working with. We get in the habit of intentionally blurring the focus of what we have to say, of undermining it ourselves. Habits are pervasive. If we develop this habit in our speech, in the way we manage the energy of our relationships, we will very likely find it creeping into our magic, our mediation, our prayer, taking the power out of the work we’re doing. Your work is needed in the world. It’s needed in all its strength and power. Don’t throw it away.

Blessings for 2012

2011-12-31T20:18:47Z

As we step out of 2011 and into 2012…

May all of your gods smile upon you.

May you feel the deep blessings of the land and the shining blessings of the starry sky.

May you carry forward the blessings of 2011 and leave the hurts and struggles behind.

And above all, may 2012 be the year you stand in your strength and power and bring your blessings to the world.

Happy New Year from me, and from the Priesthood of the Silver Branch Tradition.

Polarity in Relationship

2011-12-17T19:56:46Z

I have been thinking a lot lately about polarity. If you’re a regular reader, you know I’ve said that at Silver Branch we work more with relationship than polarity. That’s true. I’ve had the opportunity lately, to see polarity in a different light and I am intrigued.

I have always held within me that polarities are opposites, and therefor in opposition to one another. It is dark or it is light and dark is the opposite of light. Somehow this felt incomplete to me. And more, it felt locked in conflict. I held within me the idea that polarities are always moving farther from one another, going on being more and more opposite. I was never comfortable with that. Nor was I comfortable then trying to work magically with polarity when, at best there was tension between the poles, at worst, opposition.

In studying acupuncture I’ve come to look at polarity differently. We are taught that at its greatest extreme, yin turns to seek yang and vice verse. They are not opposites moving ever farther apart. They don’t live on a line, but instead in circle. You can only go so far toward one pole before it leads you back toward the other.

This is, obviously, not a new idea. And I have no idea how it was that polarity, to me lived on a never ending straight line when nature doesn’t work that way. But suddenly, I have started to see polarity more like all the old tales of lovers who change shape so that one is human by day and the other by night. They are always together, but only at the moments of dawn and dusk do they touch in their true forms. What happens when we look at polarities as lovers seeking to connect to one another instead of polarities as enemies, seeking to either destroy one another or to move as far apart as possible? What a different perspective: polarities in relationship instead of polarities in denial. This is a model I can work with – a model that feels both true and helpful.

When Things Speed Up, Slow Down

2011-11-21T19:09:15Z

It’s gray and rainy and cold. The sun rises later and sets earlier. Nature calls us to move slowly, to rest, to settle in. The world, on the other hand, calls us to participate, to celebrate, and to produce. Now, between preparing for holidays and keeping up with email, now, for just a moment, stop. Breathe. Let stillness surround you. Connect with the land, with the sky, turn inward. Let your breathing and your awareness of the natural world fill the stillness.

As you go about this holiday week, hold this stillness within you. Carry it where you go. Let the peace of it be a calm, still place in your heart. Give thanks.

Magical Adulthood

2011-11-09T18:33:17Z

Last week I did something I hate doing. I cancelled Samhain ritual… twice. Why? I was sick. I hoped to reschedule but when the rescheduled day came, I still wasn’t well enough to conduct the ritual. For me, learning to rest when there is work to be done has been an ongoing endeavor. I think I’ve got it. I think I have incorporated rest in appropriately, then something like Samhain comes up and oh, I struggle to balance feeling like I’m letting people down, not meeting my responsibilities, with the simple fact that sometimes you just have to lay around and get well again…especially if rest has been elusive.

I was meditating on this when I got a very clear message from Hecate. She said to me, “A priestess who continuously sacrifices herself is useless to me.” Ouch. There is no denying the truth of this. If we dwell only in self-sacrifice, then there may not be enough energy available to us to do the work that matters. This is not to say we should never make sacrifices, but that constant self-sacrifice renders us useless. I got the message. I cancelled the ritual and set myself to resting.

Working with Hecate challenges a lot of ideas that many of us are taught from early childhood. She says, don’t be a martyr. A martyr has limited usefulness. She says wield your power or it will wield you. She tells us to use magic, for if we will not use it in our own lives, how can we be skilled enough to use it in service. She pushes us to be adults – adults at the highest level. Being responsible isn’t making sure everything is done – it’s making sure the important things are done and that we are in good condition to continue our duties. And being in good condition means having balance, and rest, and good food, and love, and well-being in your life.

Holding power with clarity, compassion, grace, and love cannot be done by refusing to hold power. Using magic on other’s lives only and not in our own lives is both cowardly and arrogant – for how can we hope to be highly skilled enough to practice magic for others if we refuse to practice? Hecate calls us to own our work and to work in a way that has honor and integrity. She calls us to dwell in our magic. She reminds us that we are priest/ess, magic worker, witch in all that we do, and not only when we stand in circle. She helps us integrate doing with being. We are not only people who do magic or serve as priest/ess. Within our being, we are magic workers, priest/esses, witches.

Honoring the Ancestors

2011-10-31T19:48:02Z

In the past I have worked well with the idea of ancestors, but come up short when I tried to approach my own ancestors. Like many of us, my ancestors fall into 2 categories: those I know nothing about, and those of whom I am none too fond. The second group is naturally much smaller than the first, but because I know something of them, they ring louder in my thoughts of my ancestors. To get around this, I worked instead with the idea of the long dead ancestors. I can’t have anything against them – I have no idea who they even were. This is a cop out.

In the recent weeks, through work with my guides, I came to understand some really critical things about ancestors. Without ancestors, we do not exist. Yes, this is true in a genetic “who begat who” way, but also in a deeper energetic way. We stand as intersections in streams of ancestry. Without those streams, no intersection exists. From a spiritual perspective, we are those intersections. This brings up a harder (for some of us) truth. We carry our ancestors within us both through genetics/biology and as spiritual connections within the stream of ancestry, therefore, to hate our ancestors is to hate ourselves. No, we are not the sum of our ancestry. But, self-hatred in any form, against any part of self, is inherently dangerous, not only to ourselves, but to the world.

Today, I embrace my ancestors, those I do not know, and those I do not like. Today, I will to honor my ancestors and see them with compassion. Those whose deeds were cruel I will try to see within a bigger story. They did not become what they were with no context. Whatever occurred in the life of any single ancestor occurred within the stream of ancestry. Today I will accept that like anything else, my ancestral streams hold moments of absolute grace and moments of human frailty, that they hold love and kindness in at least equal measure with cruelty and hopelessness. Today I honor my ancestors, for whatever else they did or did not do, they intersected to bring me into being and for that, I thank them.

Forces of Nature

2011-10-14T22:27:01Z

I have noticed lately that we, as magic workers tend to distance ourselves from power by adding complexity. We take directly powerful things and turn them into concepts sidestepping their innate power. And I wonder if this is because we’ve forgotten how to directly interact with things. I wonder if it is a side effect of the culture we live in.

In working with our gods and guides lately we have been redirected back to what is – away from what it means and back into direct engagement with the forces of nature as they exist. Water is not an idea, not a set of characteristics applied to things without anchor in the physical. Water is a THING. Water is WATER. It makes up some 75% (give or take) of the planet. Without it you will die. Water can soften the earth, all living things need water. Water can cut through stone over time. We can touch flowing water. Flowing water can carry us along or drown us depending on the force with which it moves. Water is not “west, emotions, ancestors” though it speaks to them and of them. Water is not a concept. Water is a powerful elemental force and being.

When we do magic we can work with the idea of the concepts of the characteristics of water, or we can work with Water. Doing our magic in the physical, using the forces of nature is simple, direct and powerful. It is not for the faint of heart. What would it mean to your magic to engage in it directly, anchoring it in the physical? Astral work is helpful and often powerful, but when it is not balanced with the physical, we lost touch with the powers that surround us. More and more nature shows us her power. Are you willing to touch that power in your magical work?

And more, I wonder, what would happen – how would the forces of nature react if we began to engage with her again in wonder at her power as we do our nature? Will you find out with me?

Qualities of Stillness

2011-09-29T18:24:52Z

For many years in my youth I trained as a dancer – primarily ballet with a good dose of modern dance and a splash of everything else. One thing that teachers and choreographers start to talk about when you’re a more experienced dancer is quality of movement. Not just what is the shape, what direction does it move, how do you do it, but once you are proficient at it, how do you change the quality of movement. Is it slow, smooth, light, airy, abrupt? The list goes on and on.

Stillness, much like movement, has qualities. There is the stillness of grasping things that are moving and holding them still which is constraint. There is the stillness of things that should flow being made unable to move, which is stagnation. And then there is the kind of stillness I mean when I write about sitting in silence and stillness.

When I talk about stillness, I mean a quieting of self, an opening up to allow natural flow without focusing on it. I mean the quietness of slow, even breathing – not unmoving as lungs expand and contract and air flows in and out, but still nonetheless. I mean allowing thoughts to move aside for something deeper than thinking. I mean dwelling, for a little while in peacefulness; Chosen quieting, intentional settling into silence, both internal and external. Typing this I see that there are qualities of silence, too. Silence can a chosen lack of language, a silence that denies all sound, a tense silence, an angry silence, a peaceful silence.

It’s easy to throw language around, but these words mean something specific. Sitting still, fuming mad with my eyes clamped closed and my lips firmly shut is, technically stillness and silence. And yet, it bears no resemblance to the stillness and silence that feeds us and opens us to being able to engage with the more deeply world around us.

Stillness and Silence

2011-09-21T17:57:19Z

I haven’t posted in a while. Not because the priesthood of the SBT is withering, but because I have been busy going through changes in my life to bring the way I make my living more in line with my mandate as a priestess. It’s an exciting time. This year I’ve also been going through a transformation of self due to the work of the priesthood – transformation that has brought my bodies, both physical and subtle into a different way of working and being that supports this work. These changes in particular support my work as the founding priestess of the SBT intent on building the priesthood into the vision I have been shown.

Being at the center of this much change has required me to holder tighter to those moments of silence and stillness. When everything is making dramatic shifts these are the only places of true rest. Now in my new incarnation as a graduate student (studying acupuncture – a career that allows me to work as priestess and healer in the way I make my living), I’ve had the luxury to start to build a day that has space for silence, stillness and peace within it – beyond the silence in my daily meditation. This is indeed a luxury.

For years I have worked hard to create a schedule that let me have a strong daily practice of meditation, prayer, exercise, mediation and writing. I made it all fit. What I sacrificed was rest and ease within the day. Now I am bringing rest back into the picture. I have ease in the schedule most days of the week. I have silence and stillness at hand. I am relearning to rest and to listen in a deeper way not just within the allotted hour. It’s a move toward spending more time being rather than just doing. It’s a practice of deliberate action rather than just need and momentum.

And in that deliberate space I am coming back to regular blogging and to doing the writing that will build the training program for the priesthood and indeed the foundation of the work we do. And in time, just as I carry the lessons I have learned in these years of starting the SBT, I will also carry the lessons of stillness, silence, deep listening and deliberate action within the core of my being. May they serve me well.

Wait

2011-08-31T19:08:20Z

This summer I have not posted on the blog. I have been working hard, allowing transformations to complete, being kind to my body and spirit and not pushing myself to work too hard. Or perhaps pushing myself NOT to work too hard.

Things are shifting, falling into place, strengthening. And I want to jump back into work – pick up all the things I let sit while I was resting. But a quiet voice from deep within says “Wait. Not yet. Do not push. Nurture the strength that is growing within you. Wait.”

And so I wait. I meditate, and rest, and exercise, and eat well, and read a book that requires nothing of me but brings me great pleasure. I attend to my kids, getting them settled in school. And I wait. The work will be here soon enough. I must be strong and well rested to meet it.

In Praise of Process

2011-07-05T16:14:17Z

Because our work is integrative, processing is part of the work.

Lately, when I’m not careful, I find myself applying a false and unhelpful standard to my spiritual work. The standard is that if receptive work is at the forefront bringing clarity and new insight, then I’m doing my work well. If instead, my work is in processing and integrating that which I received, then things just “aren’t working”. Written down like that, or said aloud, it’s obvious. What good is new information, new insight, if we can’t integrate it into ourselves and our lives? Very little.

But the truth is, processing, integrating, moving the new understanding, the new way of working, the deeper insight into all the parts of ourselves, and into our practice, our daily lives, our choices… this is the hardest and most important work of all.

In my work, this is a very cyclical process: Receive, understand, process, understand more deeply, integrate. And then it starts back at the beginning. If I go back through my journals I can see it play over and over. It’s a strong, healthy process. That is, except in the place where I devalue the work of processing.

Is there a part of your work that you unconsciously devalue? Take a look at it. Is it truly not a valuable part of things? Does your practice need a tune up? Or does your perspective on your practice need the tune up?

Save the World

2011-06-29T01:34:21Z

More and more the message coming from my gods and guides is this: As long as most humans hate themselves they will not stop hurting and killing – each other, the earth, themselves one way or another. Salvation comes only from love and that must include love for self and love for humanity. The culture in which we live tells us to mute this cry with anything that offers to dull our senses. And by and large, we humans do. But things are reaching a critical mass and it is time to wake up. We must find a way to love ourselves, each other, and our species not through avoidance but through connection. Wake up. Do this work. Save the world.

I read today about a campaign and documentary called Every Mother Matters. I want to live in a world where this is so ingrained in us, where we hold in our bodies that every mother matters, that we would never think to create a slogan. For if every mother matters, so does every child and every father. If we that’s where we are – that we need to be reminded mothers and healthy mothering matter – then let’s start there.

But the truth and the beauty is this. For every problem we have created in our pain and our ignorance, someone holds the love in their heart and the fire in their belly and the ingenuity in their brain to plant the seeds of solution. We do not have to each reach out to solve everything. We must instead start with love, love for ourselves, for the planet that sustains us, for the people in our lives, for the person or need that can receive what we have to offer and show us a way back to loving ourselves. Start where you are. Save the world.

Making Lives that Fit

2011-06-22T18:06:52Z

In response to my last post Elysia commented:

Wonderful news! Many blessings on your journey. Trodding the same path of seeking career transformation, I would LOVE to read about HOW you made the decision - pragmatically as well as spiritually.

Thanks for the well wishes and for the question!

For me, career transformation has been somewhat sudden and also long in coming. It has been the result of deep integrative work. I, like most of us, learned to fragment my life – work life, home life, spiritual life. I learned to think of myself as the set of roles I played – priestess, mother, boss, employee, wife, sister, daughter, friend. Because it made people comfortable I learned to really keep those roles separate.

A lot of the work the SBT has done over the last several years has been work of integrating our parts. We came to that work accidentally. As a priesthood, we are charged with specific work. Our gods and guides knew we could not do that work successfully while trying to live as fragmented people. So, the work we started with was deep work around integrating those fragmented lives we’ve built. This is hard work. And it results in a lot of life changes. Things that we’d learned to manage as long as we lived in a dis-integrated way were not tolerable anymore.

For me, everything from my daily practice to my food and level/regularity/type of exercise changed. It wasn’t convenient at first, but it was healthy. The last holdout was work. Why? Because I was hopeful that I could be myself fully integrated in the job that I had. That wasn’t even close to accurate. Instead, I found that I had bent and stepped back, and compromised so much at work that the person I had to be while there was someone I could no longer tolerate being.

When I hit that point, the universe bent to help me. My choice was not only an obvious one for me (though far removed from the career I’ve practiced for 20 yrs), I had people saying to me “you should do that!” All the things needed fell into place very quickly. The entire situation was made available to me and required me only to be willing to do the scary thing of leaving a job with which I was familiar and being willing to work out not earning the kind of living I earn now while in school. All that is scary, but not a reason for not doing it.

Does it always work so smoothly? I don’t know. But I do know this. The career for which I will start training in September relies on me using the senses that are integral to the work I do as a priestess and seer. It’s different work, but it focuses on using many of the same senses and being open with the people with whom I will work. It requires me to be all that I have come to be and not to twist myself into unrecognizable shapes. It offers me the opportunity to live as a whole and integrated person doing work I can be proud of.

This doesn’t sound like practical advice, but look closely, I think in many ways it is. Step by step is easy to get, the spirit of change is what can be hard to approach. The older I get the more I rely on a single piece of advice for most things – relationships, jobs, living situations, etc. Does it make you a better, more whole, stronger version of you? My job was taking me in a direction that made me lesser, smaller, and in many ways even meaner. My new career already makes me feel more open. Stronger. Better. More whole. When I interviewed at the school with the president of the program I was able to reference my spiritual work without it being a negative thing. I was applauded for walking a path that is mine. I was told that this school would give me the tools to create a practice that allows me to serve in a way that is my way. I have the opportunity to live in a more integrated manner.

One of my guides told me this recently, and I think it applies: All things must return to their essential nature. An oak tree cannot succeed by trying to be a rose bush.

In terms of career, we are often forced down a road of trying to fit into a shape that is contrary to what we are at our core. While we may be good at it, we can be incredible at something that doesn’t require that sort of compromise.